看到一篇文章，颇是有趣，便藉此练练翻译，这次先译出女人篇。欢迎大家指出译得不好的地方哈。

标题: Men and women are complex creature 男人与女人是复杂的生物

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman 如果你吻她，你不是个君子

If you don't, you are not a man 但如果你不吻她，你不是个男人

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying 如果你赞美她，她认为你是在撒谎

If you don't, you are good for nothing 但如果你不赞美她，又觉得你一无是处

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp 如果你总是顺着她，你则是个窝囊废

If you don't, you are not understanding 但如果你不听她的，又显得你不了解她

If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring 如果你经常去找她，她会觉得厌烦

If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing 但如果你不常找她，她又怪你对她用情不专

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy 如果你打扮的很帅，她会说你是个花花公子

If you don't, you are a dull boy 但如果你不这样，她又会说你是个呆子

If you are jealous, she says it's bad 如果你吃她醋了，她说这样是不好的

If you don't, she thinks you do not love her 但如果你不吃她的醋，她又会认为你不爱她

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her 如果你对她调情，她说你不尊重她

If you don't, she thinks you do not like her 但如果你不，她又认为你不喜欢她

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait 

如果你迟到了１分钟，她会抱怨等你是如何的辛苦

If she is late, she says that's girl's way 但如果是她迟到了，她却说迟到是女孩的专利

If you visit another man, you're not putting in"quality time"

如果你去找同性朋友，她说你这是在浪费时间

If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"

如果她去找了她的同性朋友，“噢，这很正常呀，我们是女孩子嘛”

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold 

如果你只是偶尔亲她，她会跟大家说你是冷漠的

If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage 

但如果你经常吻她，她又嚷着被你占便宜

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics 

如果在过马路时你没扶她，她会说你真没道德

If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

可如果你扶了，她又会觉得这只是男人吸引她的一种手段

If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting 如果你注视其他女人，她会怪你不老实

If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring

可如果是其他男人盯着她，她却说他们只是在欣赏她

If you talk, she wants you to listen 如果你说，她想你闭嘴听她说

If you listen, she wants you to talk 如果你只是听，她又想你说

In short: 简而言之：

So simple, yet so complex 那么简单又那么复杂

So weak, yet so powerful 那么的娇弱，却又那么的强悍

So confusing, yet so desirable 让人那么难以捉摸，但又让人那么渴望

So damning, yet so wonderful 即是那么的可恨, 又是那么的妙不可言

...WOMEN! ．．．女人啊！